Find Your Fire and Be Unstoppable (with Erin and Kurek Ashley)
Kurek and Erin Ashley are an AWESOME team. When it comes to transforming lives this dynamic duo delivers with power and grace.
In EPISODE 34, I talk with Kurek Ashely, one of the world’s top success coaches AND Erin Ashely, premier Mindfulness Coach, Yoga and Meditation Instructor, about their recipe for being an unstoppable coach.
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Read the transcript of Find Your Fire and Be Unstoppable (with Erin and Kurek Ashley) Here
Benay: Hi I’m Benay Dyor the Coach Guardian and welcome to Coach Pep Talk, the podcast for people who run their own coaching businesses. Each week I talk to an expert who shares wisdom that helps us be better coaches and better coaching business owners. This week I have a dynamic duo on the line who have certainly found their fire and they are going to help you be unstoppable.
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Benay: This week the show’s a little bit different because we’ve got two guests for the price of one. We’ve got the amazing Erin and Kurek Ashley. Now, Erin, is a premiere mindfulness coach, yoga and meditation instructor and her Transforming Stress into Peace programs have supported thousands of people to reconnect with their authentic and empowered selves again. Personally, Erin has taught me how to be mindful, how to meditate, and how to get into the spirit of yoga in a judgment free way, which is the difference that made all the difference for me. But it doesn’t just stop there, we’ve also got Kurek on the call which is phenomenal. Kurek is recognized as one of the world’s best success coaches and is a premier expert in personal and professional development, self-discovery, spiritual growth, and peak performance. He is one of the most inspirational speakers on the planet, which I can totally attest to. His number one bestselling book, How Would Love Respond, has transformed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. Now this dynamic duo comes together regularly to run a Find Your Fire Retreat. Now, this is something that I do for my business every year and man I am just an onion. Every year is just better than the next. And that’s pretty much how my life has been since these two wonderful people have come into it. So without further ado let’s hear what Kurek and Erin have to say about being unstoppable.
Benay: Hello Erin and Kurek! And welcome to Coach Pep Talk.
Erin: Thank you for having us.
Kurek: Yes, great having us! I mean not great having us, great being with you.
Benay: I get it. It’s crazy I’ve interviewed you guys both separately on different topics in the past and that was almost a year ago I think, maybe even a little bit more, still in my early days of the podcast so it’s fantastic to have you back and not only having you both back but having you both back together. And for me as an interviewer, it’s the first time I’ve had two guests at once. So you’re extending my comfort zone and my skill set. So thank you so much for coming on.
Erin: We love being here.
Kurek: It’s exciting and I’m not really a guest I just carry Erin’s bags.
Benay: Ha-ha. OK. So let’s get into the first question, I wanted to start with something a little bit different today because I’m so curious about the synergy between you guys and how you manage to be married and to work together. My first question is you know you guys have been running these amazing three-day retreats for a long time. Well just over a year now and you’re really changing people’s lives by showing them that the impossible is possible. And I’ve been on two of them and I can attest to that being the case. I definitely up level each time I attend. Anyway, of course, I want to get into all the thinking of that and that’s the whole purpose of this interview, I just want to know because you work together, I wanted to know how is it running retreats and coaching practice as a couple?
Erin: We, shall I take this one first?
Erin: We love it. Seriously, it is soul food for us. And you know the coming together of Kurek and I in life it has just evolved us in every area of our own individual life. And so coming together to work together it just really works for us. And I think it comes down to us being two people, two individuals who are pretty good at managing how they think and feel and you know that really is the key too, as you’ll hear Kurek talk more about success in life, and for us the success to us working together and the success to us having an awesome personal relationship as well. Managing how we think and feel.
Kurek: And also I guess the business end of that is that you know Erin and I are very…and by the way, you can just assume it is we’ve worked out who’s accountable for what. You know, because it’s business and then so what that does is it keeps us you know where things don’t fall through the cracks or somebody doesn’t feel like well you always made me do that. It’s we just know what we do and then we do it. So we’re also very adaptable so I can be doing a live event, there’s things you can’t even plan on doing. Maybe it’s filling the water jugs and lighting candles and all the other little things that we do is, we just have the attitude, look it’s our event let’s just do it. And because of that you know and then let’s do it a fun way. Let’s do it in an enjoyable way. And because of that we really do have a lot of fun, a lot of enjoyment doing it, yet also it gets done. It’s done in a really classy way. One person’s not carrying all of the workload as well, but it’s just great because we love doing it that way and we’re just…and then we acknowledge each other consistently that, “Wow, you know thanks for everything you do,” and the rest of those things. So I think that all of that really comes down it what Erin said is that it helps us manage how you think and feel to produce a fun experience but a successful experience.
Benay: I think it’s so awesome to hear you guys talk about that. I mean I’ve had exposure to other gurus who run events and things sort of as a behind the scenes person and they’re just one person onstage and then they’re another person behind the scenes and that you guys, you’re just you like and it doesn’t matter which place you’re standing and I really like to, I’m just consistently blown away by how you guys do that, so…
Kurek: Thank you.
Erin: We love hearing that.
Kurek: And we want to show people that we’re real and we’re genuine and that we really are a couple. We really do love each other and we really are excited to be with each other because when people see that they say you know that’s what I want, in their own individual interpretation of that is that’s what I want. And now if you guys can do it and you’re real genuine then I can do it. And that’s so our job is not really to teach content, it’s to help people facilitate real lasting change. And you know the amazing thing is when people get more conscious they realize that somebody is always watching. They’re always paying attention. They’re looking for the flaw in the armor you know and when they see a consistency, then they go, wait a minute, this is real, then I want that, I can do that. And that’s so it’s in our doing that is probably some of the strongest teaching.
Benay: Yeah definitely. Well, you guys have such a complementary skill set. You know and in this environment you know you’re, Kurek you’ve got this like you know American rah rah, you’re really good at that, you know you’re content of course like the back of your hand and then Erin comes in with such grace and you know science and mindfulness and it’s just this beautiful flow that happens through the whole thing. So I don’t know if you want to add me thing to that that’s just me being inspired. Going with the moment.
Erin: It’s really… We get feedback consistent with yours, Benay. That’s what people really see, is the whole package when they come to say one of our Find your Fire Retreats for example, they get to experience both of us together and then individually and then yes there we are teaching and then we’re sitting down having dinner with people and they really get the whole package with the two of us together, the masculine and feminine, the Ying the yang. It’s like, I mean people who attend our events and work with us, do it because they want transformation in their lives and they want to up level or change something about their life for the better. They want to improve themselves and between the both of us, we come at that from all angles, individually we can come at that from all angles, but together we have found you know a really, really big power in the togetherness and working that way.
Benay: Definitely, definitely.
Kurek: And my business partner is hot. So it’s not work for me, I’m just having a good time all the way along the way.
Benay: Oh yeah, yeah, I know I know I agree too. All right so let’s switch gears now a little bit, we’re all warmed up. You know that I’m kind of a big advocate for people who are running coaching businesses out there and I just thought, man I’d love to get you guys both in and just talk about being unstoppable. Finding your fire. Because me, as a coach and a business owner, having embraced, embodied, tried on a lot of the things that you guys teach over the last year or two has really made a humongous difference in my business. So I thought you could maybe set the stage by just thinking about some of your clients, and they don’t necessarily have to be coaches but what is being unstoppable meant for them? What does it look like? How can we get our head around what that actually is? Because it’s a nice word, but what does it really mean?
Kurek: Well you know, it’s more than a word, it’s actually a strategy. You know and it takes the overwhelm or the magic out of it, I got to be special, or you know everybody’s got fear and everybody’s got doubt, everybody’s got insecurity. You know we just look at everybody else and they don’t it looks like they don’t have it. We’re the only ones who have it. But we all have it. And so now it’s about learning how to manage that. And the way that I would you know teach people to do that, there’s three things you need to know. Number one is where you are, where you want to be, and what’s the first step. And so when you take you know, when it’s just really down to that, it takes all of you overwhelm and the big massive amount of fear, and it’s like, wait a minute, all I’ve gotta do is the first step. If you don’t know what the first step is, well then now you know the first step is; Figure out what the first step is. And once you take that first step and you’re not worried about the next five steps and everything, but you’re just focused on doing this one in an excellent way and completing it. In motion, you’ll see things you can’t see standing still and you’ll see the next step. And then just take that, and take that, and now you start creating momentum and all of a sudden you really are unstoppable because it all comes down to having the right mindset, developing new skill sets, and that comes through education, application of that the education, and then just follow through. Just stay on the journey. And as you see it’s broken down so easy that you become unstoppable because there’s nothing that if you put it into that formula I just taught, what can’t you do when you go, wait a minute what do I need to do. How can I do that? What’s the strategies I need or the skill sets that I need. Where can I learn that? Let’s go learn it. Now let’s put it into application. Let’s keep testing and measuring until I get better and better at it and follow through until I get the result. There’s nothing you can’t have, can’t be, can’t do. And it’s life-changing, but it takes all the fear out of it. You might have fear but it teaches you how to manage it because all you’ve gotta do is that first step. Just don’t worry about everything else, just get it done.
Benay: Is there anything you wanted to add to that Erin.
Erin: Yes. So I think when people do think of unstoppable just as a word it can have that connotation with it that it’s a real striving and pushing and forcing attitude that you have to bring to becoming unstoppable. Yet you know the way that we teach it is, no for it to be a sustained unstoppability you have to pare back and wind back first and just reduce distractions in your life that are preventing you from achieving the results that you want to achieve anyway. And this really takes finding space in the mind and tapping into that creative space. And that’s why I love teaching the tools of meditation and yoga and mindfulness, because once we’ve become aware of how we’re thinking and feeling then we can manage it and put education into place, like Kurek said in his taught strategy; education, application, follow through, all with a peaceful invigoration.
Benay: I love that, a peaceful invigoration. So when your clients are feeling unstoppable, it’s that they’ve taken, they’ve learned a strategy so that they know that they just can take the first step so they’re feeling momentum. I’m imagining, well and I know from experience, and this sort of Erin, I think you said not pushing. So there’s like this new grace, or new ease, in and massive momentum yet at the same time. Does that resonate? Have I hit anything?
Erin: Yeah, definitely. And what is it that you say about this baby when you talk about that it’s not about the activity or the amount of activity…
Kurek: Yeah, people confuse activity with movement and it’s just about creating the movement. And that’s why you see a lot of people are very busy, they’re doing a lot of stuff but they’re not really going anywhere. And then it seems like there’s other people who are really going leaps and bounds but they don’t seem like you’re doing very much. And that’s why I love what Erin teaches and how she teaches it. You know people originally think, oh you know meditation that’s kind of fluffy and I don’t have time for it. Wallace D. Wattles who wrote the book ‘The Science of Getting Rich’ in 1907 said that you have to leave the competitive mind for the creative mind. And people are like, I don’t compete against anybody, and it’s not about other people it’s about the competition for the space in your mind. Is it clutter, is it stress, is it busyness? Or do you leave space for having a creative thought? Because creative, creation, new life, new experience comes because the formula for creation is thoughts that get put into actions produce a result. So you have to have creative thought. And again the creative thought creates movement. People go I got to do this, I got to do that. But see there you go, now you’re going into the busy mind and not the creative mind.
Erin: And if that’s the path that people tend to take with the busy mind moving forward you know that pushing through, forcing through attitude with life, then it’s a sure fire way to experiencing anxiety and overwhelm and all of those disempowering emotions and experiences that come when we try to force something that’s you know wanting to evolve anyway, but we’re trying to push it and shape it and control it. Instead you know staying really grounded and in your, you know that’s why I love yoga, it helps you to stay present and grounded and you’re focusing on your breath and you’re just aware of where you are in space and time the whole way, so along the journey towards your goals the people that you interact with, the decisions that you make, they can all be done from a grounded and expansive place in the mind, body, and spirit and the results will then be expansive.
Kurek: Deepak Chopra, you know years ago I remember him saying it, you know you learn to do less to create more to the pleasure you can do nothing and have it all. When you first hear that you’re like Oh that sounds deep and that’s really nice and fluffy and you know let’s go hug a tree. But it’s actually the truth. And so the mindfulness and the meditation and having the quieter mind and doing it peacefully, it’s not fluff. It’s actually the strategy to success because just like if you’re going to grow vegetables in your garden, you’ve got to clean out the garden. You can’t be growing vegetables in a weed patch. The weeds will take over your garden and you can’t pretend that weeds aren’t there either because they’ll still take over your garden. You know there’s that stuff you have to do and you have to treat those plants with grace and love to really produce the crop that you want. You can’t go beating up the tree you know or the tomato plants saying give me more tomatoes. I don’t know what to listen to. And whatever we put out is what we’re going to get back and so if you’re going to try to push the universal push back. But its got a lot more force behind it, and that’s why you got to become one with it and understand how it operates. And again this is not fluffy, head in the sky, let’s go hug a tree stuff. It’s really the way success is produced including enjoying your success because otherwise you if you produce it with stress, it’s bathed in stress, and that’s all whatever be is a stressful experience. Is enjoy doing it. Enjoy as you’re doing it and you’ll enjoy when you have it.
Benay: Yeah. You know through this conversation so far we’ve kind of gone on to this concept of you know that you can do less and actually get more. Since you guys are coaching business owners and our audience is coaching business owners and some might be scratching their head still and being like yeah, but I try and I still get sucked back into being busy. Can you just talk a little bit about some of the real, and not necessarily personal development tools, but like you know those things on your to-do list. I think Kurek you said something about you know you still have to weed your garden. So in a coaching business what is the weeding like? what is the work you kind of have to do? Versus when it just becomes too much and it’s busy work. Does that question make sense?
Kurek: Sure. Well, I would say, first it’s a, okay, so you said it very clear Benay, it’s coaching business. It’s not a coaching hobby.
Kurek: You want to coach as a hobby, awesome, but let’s not use that in the, you know I’m trying to say that in the same breath as the coaching business. And business is business. So a business means, by the way, to make money. If you’re not making money with your business, and I mean profit, that’s called a hobby. So it’s business, and in business is systems. And that’s why I love what you do with your online business that you have to help coaches become more efficient coaches, is because it literally puts them in line to, I’m now having a coach business not just the product of coaching. Right? So I love coaching and that’s why I still coach, its probably not the most leveraged part of our business because I have to show up and I have to do it. I can’t have you know outsource and go, ok, you coach for me now. I have to do it. But also as you know our coaching business is generated probably close to six and a half million dollars. So that’s a business. People go, like what? How’d you do that? Well, first I look at it and anytime there is a challenge in the business I go that’s a place we need to put in a system. And then you start looking at that. And so what that does is yes, you have to develop the systems,and then you have to develop some new skill sets because if you want to sell yourself as a coach, which is because that’s business, means making money, then you’re going to have to learn how to market yourself, not just your product, which is the coaching, but yourself. Because people buy you. And again people go, I’m uncomfortable, or I don’t really want to be out there. I don’t like doing videos. Get over it. It’s marketing yourself and you have to learn how to do those things and once you, and by the way, I’ve coached a lot of people to very, very lucrative coaching businesses. And you know some of them are like you know, I’m not really the guy who wants to be out there. Get over it. If you don’t want to do that go do something else. But it’s those things that you have to… You know my good friend John Fitzgerald who wrote the book ‘Seven Steps the Wealth’ says learn to like your dislikes. You know. And that’s where your success but when you face your own fear you grow the most.
Benay: Erin, did you want to add anything to that?
Erin: Yeah. I think with the back end of a coaching business comes a lot of administrative tasks as well. You know all of my down to the bookkeeping, and paperwork, and sorting out the desktop and just all those e-mails and even flicking e-mails off into the junk mail folder, there’s so much that can take up so much of our time in the coaching business. And look I have just such a massive to-do list myself at the moment, yet the way that I’m best managing it without becoming overwhelmed is every day asking myself, what’s one expensive action that I can take today in the business. What’s one expansive action? And I sit with it and whatever answer comes up, I follow through with it. And often the answer comes along the lines of it’s actually me reaching out to as many people as I possibly can today. And so is that really going to serve me sitting there sorting out my junk mail folder and just burrowing into busy work? That might need to be done at some point, there might be a time and place for that, or you might outsource that kind of work. But asking yourself that simple question, what’s one expensive action I can take today in my business. You can apply it to other areas of your life as well and it works just as great. Awesome question.
Kurek: See what Erin is saying is what’s going to grow my business the most not just hey I get this stuff to do, so let’s jump in and doing some of this stuff. Emptying your junk folder, by the way just because people write me or call me, I do call them back and I do write them back, but it doesn’t mean I have to do it at their time. Is you can schedule a time where you answer emails, but you have to look at what’s going to grow my business the most. Let’s focus on that and get that done. The other stuff just schedule in a different time. But it doesn’t, you know the stuff that’s going to grow your business the most, I would say that’s probably highest priority. And you know so there is a syntax or an order to doing things and people are like well I don’t know what that is, well all you have to do is ask the question. Like Erin said, is what’s going to grow the business the most. What’s going to expand the business the most. And you see that takes us out of being the employee, or the manager, into being the entrepreneur, which is the person growing the business. That’s what I’d be coaching people under business on, is becoming entrepreneurs instead of managers, or worker ants. Stuffs got to get done. But if you want to grow your business you’ve got to be the person that would grow your business which is the entrepreneur.
Benay: Yeah. So. So what I’m hearing for our listeners and even from myself, is that we have to do work and sometimes we’re going to have to do stuff that maybe we don’t really love to do. We have to face some challenge. We have to learn some new skills. It’s just a part of being a business owner, being an entrepreneur. At the same time, we need to be really mindful of when we’re just doing work for work sake because that’s going to prevent us from being this unstoppable person who has momentum with ease and grace.
Erin: Yes absolutely. In fact, that brings in constriction which reduces the ease and grace.
Kurek: And also as you know people, when you said, that stuff in business that you don’t like to do we can do it anyways. Well, guess what, the alternative sucks. Which means go get a job in which you’re gonna have to do a lot of things you don’t like and not get paid very much for. The difference between you know business and a job, Is a job they’re going to pay you whatever they pay you. With a business, you can create it as much as you want to spend. I like that. Life is always going to have stuff you don’t want to do and stuff. You want to do and yes both have to be done. But again is when you face the stuff that you don’t want to do you’re going to grow. But again prioritize it. Does it, or can I outsource it? You know and people are like I can’t really afford it. Well Erin and I, there are certain things like maybe cleaning the house where we have a house cleaner come in once a week. We know that we can’t really afford to do that because for that money we can pay that house cleaner in that same amount of hours she’s cleaning house, We could be growing the business and making way more than that. So you know you start looking at that and going wait a minute, I can’t really afford to keep doing that. So what can I do right now to grow my business, to pay for that house cleaner, or the car getting washed or you know lawn being in mowed or whatever by somebody else. And again there’s an expansion of your business so by asking the questions that are saying I can’t afford it, ask what can I do to grow my business to pay for that. And sometimes I can keep expanding the business.
Benay: I just want to circle back to something that Erin said, and you mentioned the word constriction. Could you elaborate on that just a little bit, please?
Erin: Sure. So I said it when we were talking about what gets in the way of ease and grace, I think, and I really align when we’re talking about business and feeling non-expansion or the business isn’t growing, that it’s the opposite, constriction, and it’s then that we have to shine a light on what activity we’re undertaking that’s keeping it constricted and not flowing. So, for example, it could be us getting caught up in those menial tasks like we’ve just discussed and not taking expansive actions because we haven’t stopped to be mindful to ask ourselves what is the expansive step. In the best way to come to know what feels expansive and what doesn’t, is to first look within. So to come to know in your body where you’re holding on to tension is a great way to start to become familiar with what feels constrictive and what doesn’t. You know where in your body do you habitually hold on to stress for example, is it your shoulders, or your neck, or jaw. People love to clench onto their jaw. And then start to notice your breath and notice when that is in flow and when it’s short and shallow and so you are your greatest teacher for your coaching business or whatever area of life that you’re looking at growing. Is that first to look within. I practice yoga, Kurek loves his Aikido, whatever it is that helps you to move your body every day in some way and move your breath and get to know what that inflow creative space, present, grounded space feels like there and then you’ll naturally notice when you’re business, when you’re feeling like you’re undertaking constrictive activity or expansive activity in your business.
Benay: Right. So by having that mindfulness of our breath, of the tension in our body and just acknowledging it I guess without awareness, what kind of things might you do or what might you change in your day if like you’re like, oh wow my shoulders are really tense right now?
Erin: Yes. So your body is a great indicator of how you’re emotionally presenting. Your bodies like the emotional signature if you like. So if you notice and become aware, and the awareness is the key here, become aware that your shoulders are hunched, it’s your body giving you a signal that something is constricted and your body’s responding to that. And so the minute you become aware your shoulders are hunched then you can take skillful action and maybe roll your shoulders a couple of times and un-hunch your shoulders. But until you place the awareness on the hunched shoulders, you could walk around feeling constricted all day and not even be present enough to understand why. And so you might take unskillful action, like you might go to a boxing class, Benay, we’ve just both experienced boxing classes very recently, and with those hunched tense shoulders if you go straight into a boxing class you’re opening yourself up to all sorts of risk of injury. However, if you become aware of the tense shoulders, do something to relax them and then head into the boxing class you’re likely to have a much more successful class. And so this really is a metaphor that can then play out in business, to be aware of when you’re experiencing constriction, like a business decision. We’re just hunting appropriate venues right now for an upcoming tour for Kurek, and you know I can’t go and scout out every venue across the world that we’re going to and so I have to do this online and just by pictures and I really have to get a feel and use my wisdom to make a decision on choosing the right venue and I do it from a space of Eastern flow and instead of you know rushing, forcing, choosing something because it’s the best price for example. I feel into the decision and as Kurek says we think to create and we feel to decide.
Benay: I’ve been you know growing and there’s so much more room to grow still for me but just body mindfulness, aware of my emotional state, and putting that first has really been a game changer for me just because when I’m all there, in a good and happy way, I make so much better decisions. I do things that you know make my business easier and more fun. And you know and then I stopping getting caught in this like menial tasks, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. It’s so easy to slip into that.
Erin: It really is and you know I am just like you, and I definitely experience that as well. And even more recently I’ve chosen to have Thursdays as my day of just teaching yoga and then the space that I teach yoga in I enjoy a beautiful lunch and no computer and I head into a meditation session after lunch and by taking this time out of my week, I’ve found that it has had zero impact on the business, in fact, the business has grown since I started taking that time.
Erin: You can go back to that beautiful Deepak Chopra quote and this is just how it works. And knowing those days, you know we might have appointments already booked and a client to coach, et cetera, where we have to show up and we just have to have our systems in place that gets us into the right zone then. But then those days when sure there might be the busy work to d, and those more menial tasks that will have to be done at some point, but maybe today is not the day. You go for a swim at the beach or a walk in nature and regroup.
Benay: Yeah yeah definitely. OK, so I don’t …I think what I want to do now is you’ve already given us so many different tools. You guys have both given us so many different tools and strategies for how to be unstoppable as a coaching business owner, but what I’d like to do you know because we’ve kind of been in all over the place is maybe just if we could succinctly, maybe you could each give us a couple of your favorites that people, our listeners could try out as a result of having listened to this today, well like the one or two main strategies for being unstoppable that you’d just love for them just to try out and have a go with it?
Erin: I think you’ve gotta go first on this one.
Kurek: Hear the boss kicking in the gear there?
Benay: I hear it. You better get to it.
Kurek: I understand the female language, so I’m very… You know the easiest thing to do really is have a morning routine that gets you set because every morning wake up you have an empty tank you know and you wouldn’t want to jump in your plane and decide to start flying before you fill up your tank. You know some people will tell you, I am so busy there are time that do that morning stuff. Great that’s like flying with no fuel in the tank and eventually you’re going to crash. And you just don’t have the speed, the power, and to endure, to keep moving forward on the stuff. So have a morning routine that becomes part of your investment in your business and in coaching. By the way, this is probably one of things that I would recommend that you teach every one of your coaching clients as I do, is it’s you know it’s not just about making more money with their businesses or whatever is, what they’re really looking for as your client is looking how they can expand their whole life because they wind up becoming more successful at the cost of not spending time with their family, or their kids and their health and fitness and then all of a sudden success seems like it really is painful. So again it’s you teach through doing yourself and a morning routine would be as you know get up, you know read your goals, read some affirmations, do some mindfulness and meditation, maybe do some exercise you know those kinds of things. 10 or 15 minutes of investing in yourself, man, you fill your tank up. You’re ready to rock and roll, you feel powerful. You know you’ve got the aura generating around you where people go, man, I don’t even know what the guys selling, I just want that. I just want what you have. And so it’s that. And you know Erin and I, we spend time with each other in the morning, and we cuddle, and we spend time with the kids, and we do our little routine in the morning we’re, you know our brain links up. I love being successful. I love our life. And then the brain automatically goes into looking for how can I keep this and how can I expand it. And then you know you really do become unstoppable because you realize this is what I thought successful was, spending time my wife, and spending time my family, and appreciating where we are and being grateful and taking the time. If you’re gonna have a juice in the morning, don’t just slop down the juice. Taste it and enjoy it and be grateful for that homemade juice you made. Or the coffee or whatever it is. Your brain links up pleasure to it. It’s going to automatically want to keep it and expand on it.
Benay: Awesome. Yeah. That’s excellent.
Erin: And I will add on to that now. Ditto, and you know really know what it is that you are focusing on. So you know why are you in your coaching business and what is the experience that you want to get out of the coaching business. Like Kurek said it’s usually for that sense of freedom that comes with being that entrepreneur and that lifestyle. And another way to reframe that question is to investigate what is it that is getting in the way of you experiencing that freedom lifestyle that comes with being an entrepreneurial coach. What are the distractions that are in your everyday life that are getting in the way? You know it can be people that you’re surrounding yourself with and spending time with because you feel you have to, but you know that they’re not really supporting you to evolve to become the unstoppable you. Or it might be the junk email or whatever it is that’s not in alignment with where you want it to be going. Get familiar with what the distractions are so that then you can make wise decisions about…
Kurek: You’re awesome.
Benay: We have time for one more. Do you want, do you guys want to throw in anything else?
Kurek: Well I think that again, you know Erin raised a really powerful point and that is you know the reason that we become entrepreneurs, most people think it’s to make money you know and to create financial freedom. The truth is we don’t actually want financial freedom. We just want freedom. Because if everybody could have all the money they wanted or didn’t even need the money to have the experiences they wanted, and they had the freedom to go do what they wanted to go do, they’d just do it. They wouldn’t even worry about the money. So instead of chasing the financial freedom and yes, business is measured by financial results because that’s business, but we become entrepreneurs because we want to create a lifestyle. And once you get that you know you go hey wait a minute, that’s really true, that’s right, I wanted the lifestyle. And yes I thought making the money would give me that lifestyle. So go for the lifestyle right away. So you know you may not be able to do all of it at the same level you want to do, but like for instance when I first started Success International, I was living in a single room that I was renting from a woman who in her apartment in Brisbane in those days. But I made that room make me feel successful and I had motivational and inspirational sayings around me. And you know I still did my meditation and I went out and exercised every day and now that I’m married, and have a beautiful wife and kids is that you know I make sure I spend time with them every day and exercise and spend time with the kids. So you start living the lifestyle because remember you got to understand what your definition of success, is it just a full bank account? Where your accumulating money and then you die and somebody else gets to spend your money? Or is it, I really do, I want the lifestyle. Start finding a way to live the lifestyle now so your brain goes after wanting to be successful so you can keep the lifestyle. But don’t go out “one day”, because one day never shows up. And unfortunately, you’ve trained yourself not to live the lifestyle by not living it so consistently that you never ever got to it.
Benay: Yeah. So can we talk a little bit about practically what is living the lifestyle mean? Like, because if you like oh you know I want to be free so I can go and work on the beach every day, or just go swimming every day, or not work at all. Where’s the fine line between, I want to say the word reality, I’m not sure if it’s the right word or not, and you know being able to really grow a business and living the lifestyle and being that change now?
Erin: So I think you know if we’re talking about attaining freedom then look for things around you in your existing environment that give you a sense of freedom. And the best place to start looking is within so you know just in the yoga class I was teaching this morning we were paying attention to our breath as we were sitting there and imagining freedom traveling across the breath and sensing what that feels like and in that moment we were experiencing a hundred percent freedom. So no matter what situation every student in that room was in or what life they were going to walk out into after the class, or what had happened in the lead up to the class, in that moment everybody was experiencing freedom and that’s everything right there. So you know it might also come in looking at your client in a new light like it’s the first time that you’ve ever seen them even if you’ve had preconceived judgments about them. Looking at them as if for the first time with that judgment, there’s freedom that comes with that and an expansion and new possibilities. So you might still be doing the work but it doesn’t mean that you can’t find experiences of freedom within each moment.
Kurek: Freedom isn’t freedom until you activate it. So unless you’re in prison you can go to the water and go to the beach. I mean you know you have the freedom to do that. But the thing is that if you schedule in time to work on your business and instead of being to-do list driven, you start being outcome driven. So as an example if somebody… I’ve worked with a lot of network marketing people and taken them to the number one in the world. In different businesses, different network marketing business, but still keeping in the same result. And you know what they say well you know I’m going to make three phone calls a day. Well, that’s to-do list driven, instead sign one person up. That’s outcome driven. And if I can do that in three minutes instead of an hour well then guess what. You have the rest of your hour to go to do what you want to go do. And that makes you more efficient and more effective. So again you get way more movement, way more accomplished than just being busy and doing things. And so you know if Erin and I want to go to the beach with the kids because it’s summer holidays or whatever, that we do that, but we still have scheduled in the day., what are we going to get done today. And we get it done. But if you know you only have an hour because human beings are funny, if you give us six months to do something, they’ll take all six months.
Kurek: If you give them a month to do it, it’s funny they’ll get it done in a month, but that person’s more efficient, more effective. And so you start training yourself to be more efficient, more effective and but instead of just jamming in that free time you’ve created with more work where your brain’s going, see you’re a liar, you said there was going to be some freedom here but you’re just jamming and more work. It’s actually better to go to the beach, spend time with your kids, spend time your wife, so your brain again goes, wow there’s a reward to this. I want to become even more efficient, more effective, because…Not more busy, because that means I’m going to have more of the life that I really want. So you’ve got to do it right now and put it into action. You’ve got to activate your freedom.
Benay: It’s a strategy that I’ve actually been using and I didn’t kind of realize it was a strategy. But Erin, I forget the way you phrase the question when we were talking earlier on when you said you know how can I, what can I do to expand my business, even more, today or something along those lines? If you do that in the morning and then write down the outcomes you want from the day, then once those are done you’re done, right?
Erin: You’re done. You might, you know it could be a half hour action. It could be a four-hour action that really doesn’t matter. You just listen to the answer. What makes me feel expansive? What’s one thing I can do that makes me feel expansive?
Kurek: And Benay we have seen you rapidly expand your business, right? You know I mean and when I first met you I mean I could see superstar in you and I’m right. And but the thing is that we see you actually working easier, more peaceful, man now you’re out riding motorcycles. You know, I heard you say earlier how you’re exercising. So you haven’t taken away from your life, you’ve actually added to your life and you’re more successful.
Kurek: Because you learned, wait a minute, being more efficient and more effective is a strategy, it’s not some magic pill and it’s not biased the special people or people with the 13th zodiac sign. It’s just looking at your business going, let’s be more outcome driven. Like if I have to get one sale today, let’s just get a sale and move on but not jam it up with ok, I got one sale now let’s make it five and start getting greedy. You can say five sales from the beginning. Awesome. But when you create extra time, use it again for your freedom so your brain makes a neuro association between success is actually enjoyable, not success just means I keep jamming more stuff in my schedule and filling up my plate more where I have no life left.
Benay: Erin was there anything else you wanted to add? Or are we feeling complete?
Erin: I feel pretty complete with that. I think Kurek nailed it.
Benay: Me too! OK well, I do like to ask all of my guests right at the end, you know if there’s one piece of advice that our listeners would take as a result of listening to this interview today, What would you like that to be?
Kurek: Well the thing is I would say is live. No matter what you do you know because people don’t buy your products, your services, your ideas, they buy it the way they feel about your product, service, or idea, so they’re really buying you. And even when I was homeless and even when I was financially challenged, I still had an energy about me in which people said, like for instance the women’s beach volleyball team in Australia, asked me to success coach them, even when I was homeless at the time, when they asked me. And I knew it and they knew it. I didn’t lie to them I didn’t try to paint a picture that wasn’t the truth. And after we won the gold medals at the Sydney Olympics, literally in the dressing room afterward, I said girls why would you choose a success coach who is homeless and they said, “Man you could feel where you are going. We want to be on a ride with you because nothing could beat you. Not even homelessness. Man, it was like you were a success.” So if you start living right now and you started enjoying your life right now, there’s going to be people looking at you going I don’t even know what the hell you sell, I just want that. But even if you don’t get the customers, which you will, you’re still living. And anybody who died today, by the way, there’s somebody your age, our age, anybody’s age who died today who didn’t think it was their day to go either. And if they could come back for 30 seconds to give you advice they’d go, live. I’m dead, live. Don’t you know, don’t mistake what this life’s about? It’s about enjoying it. And when you do you’ll be successful. When you find a way to enjoy what you do as well.
Benay: Oh, I love that. And it’s just so in alignment with like everything that I’m thinking and doing right now. So that’s just perfect. OK thank you guys so much for coming on and showing your synergy to our audience. It’s just been beautiful to have you both here.
Kurek: Thank you.
Erin: Thank you for having us, its an honor to come on together and…
Benay: Ah, so much fun. So for coaches who are listening and they want to learn more about you guys and your work where is the best place they can go to sort of follow that trail and get to know you even better?
Erin: Kurek’s website a great place to start, that’s KurekAshley.com, and you can find out all sorts of information on there about upcoming live events and retreats and there’s free resources on there including a 10 day get out of your bad mood course, which is about managing any disempowering emotions or distractions that are getting in the way to achieve the life that you want.
Benay: I’ll put the URL in the show notes. And did you, did I hear you say world tour?
Kurek: So we’re on our way to… and then it just grows from every first thing and the other events start locking in around. So we’re going to spend a couple of weeks in the States and I get to literally go back to my hometown of Chicago and do a big event there, so it’s really exciting.
Erin: And we’re on the road with Kurek’s’ Become the Unstoppable You Tour between May and July, mostly throughout Australia and New Zealand and yes other possibilities of other countries as well.
Benay: And that’s 2019, guys for our listeners. But check the website, I guess you’re going to keep your events page updated and so keep a look for the Ashley’s near you. All right guys thanks so much for being on the show and I’ll see you on the hot coals in two weeks!
Kurek: And if you want you can drive your motorcycle across the coals.
Benay: Oh right. OK. I’ll think about that.
Erin: You have to do a wheelie.
Kurek: Do a fire wheelie.