I just got back from a trip to the States with my 6 yr old daughter. I took her to finally meet her big, crazy Texan family. It was time to connect with her roots.
Of course I love my extended family but… I should confess that I usually get so stressed out when I’m around my family for too long that I literally break out in a rash.
So even though I was excited for my daughter, I was nervous for myself.
Fortunately for me, a few weeks before my trip, I had the opportunity to interview Mike Bundrant, Co-founder of the iNLP Center, on self sabotaging behavior. If you missed the episode, check out Episode 14 – Getting Clients Unstuck – it’s wonderful.
My interview with Mike lead me to check out his short online course, The Aha Solution, which is all about removing self sabotage from your life for good. And boy did the Universe deliver the exact right goods to me at the exact right time!
I started the course when I arrived in the US (about 1 month ago) and started applying the teaching that same day. What a difference it made to not only that day but to my entire visit.
A taste of what I learned…
Self sabotaging behavior is a disempoweing psychological attachment you develop in your childhood. Your attachment is like an unconscious magnet. You are drawn to do things even though you know it’s not really what you want to do.
Even though your attachment harms you (by keeping you from your fullest potential) – you do it anyway because it’s what you know and where you feel safe.
When it comes to being successful and happy in your life and business your attachment is like a weed in your otherwise abundant garden. To be able to move forward and be your fullest potential, you must pull that weed out by the root.
The Aha Solution is a system that helps you do exactly that. You learn how to find the weed and pull it out by the root. This means you identify the root cause of self sabotaging behaviors and eliminate them. Once you understand the system, you can use it on yourself and with your coaching clients.
There are 3 main categories for the types of attachments we develop. These are: control, deprivation, and rejection.
Through the personal work I did using the Aha Solution I discovered my main attachment was to rejection. What this means is that no matter what was really happening in my life I regularly turned it into a situation where I could feel rejection instead of love and acceptance.
My Aha moment.
An example is when I was running late to visit my sister’s family on my trip. Instead of telling myself, “It’s OK, people know I’m traveling with my daughter, driving on the wrong side of the road and I’m still jet lagged. It’s OK to be a bit late. They’ll love me anyway.”
What I did instead was create a rejection story that went something like this, “I’m going to be late again, my sister will be upset with me and the whole visit will be ruined.”
It sounds so silly to me when I play this back for you now. As someone who had until that moment unknowingly spent a lifetime running crap stories, living in the energy of crap stories and believing that this was what was real and true, I can assure you that little episodes like this add up fast.
Over the next two weeks I started seeing this pattern all over the place in all parts of my life.
Talk about an Aha moment!
Best family visit ever.
My US trip ended up being the best visit ever. Delightfully fulfilling and tons of love and acceptance all around. And guess what? No rash! 😉
I give most of the credit for this unexpectedly successful trip to the Aha Solution.
The Aha Solution gives a new and fresh way to look at self sabotaging behavior. The framework help you first become Aware of self sabotaging behaviors. Then it teaches you to Halt and then consciously Act in a new way. Ultimately you are able to end your attachment by raising your consciousness and expanding your awareness to gain greater choice.
My overall opinion of the Aha Solution.
The Aha Solution is a beautiful little course, takes a few hours for complete and is incredible value for money (especially considering you will most likely have an Aha moment).
I am not affiliated with the iNLP Centre which means I won’t get any money if you buy this course. I have written this review because as a personal development junkie and life coach, I am grateful to now have this knowledge in my tool kit.
If you do give it a go, please come back and leave a comment on this post, on our Facebook page or on our Online Coach Entrepreneurs community page. I’d love to hear what your old attachment was and how things are different for you now.
And if you want more, here is an informative introduction video on the Aha Solution.